oops

well...I did the shred one more day after my last post..and then life distracted me..and once I got derailed, I couldn't seem to hop back on.  And yet again, here I am with yet another 30 days until the next time I might be asked to stop exercising..and the scale is sitting pretty static, right around 144...so...looks like its time to start exercising for real.  :(  I don't know why I'm dragging my heels so much!  But I certainly am. 

On the babymakin' front, I went back to the RE last month and he felt comfortable with me doing up to 10 cycles with clomid...so...I didn't get my ducks in a row fast enough last month to do monitoring with him, but I did take clomid.  No dice.  But my CD2 appointment is tomorrow and I will be doing monitoring this cycle to see exactly what is going on.  He gave me a talk about how Femera isn't FDA approved for ovulation induction..and told me that injectibles are really a danger for HOM...so he suggested thinking about IVF if clomid doesn't work.  I don't know if that was really just a "cover my ass" talk...or if he really thinks that...but if he does, then I'm going to make an appt with another clinic to get a second opinion...  Really, it doesn't matter, because we don't have the money to do IUI or IVF...so...ovulation induction with TI is really our only option right now.  And injectible meds are absurdly expensive!  Blech.  I hate this. 

27 more days to shred

Three days down! I'm proud of myself because I was so freaking sore today and still did it. I just can't do the pushups while sore, so DH suggested doing wall pushups if needed. That was doable! Weight was up a bit this morning (145.6), but that was to be expected with swelling/water retention.

Tomorrow is my appt with my RE. I typed out all of my cycle info since getting pg with DS, just to make sure I have it right. I'm kind of nervous...

4 Months of Dieting!

My hubby just informed me that today is 4 months since we started our diet...so I thought that deserved a post about the numbers and results so far.
Starting weight (1/9)= 168.6
Starting BMI = 28.9
Current weight (5/9)= 144.8
Current BMI = 24.9 - NORMAL!!!
Pounds lost = 23.8
Pounds left to goal of 135 = 9.8
Pounds per week average = 1.7
Percentage of body weight lost = 14.12%
Percentage complete = 70.8%
And, since I have at least 30 days till my next possible BFP, I decided to give the 30 Day Shred a whirl.  I did it last night and it wasn't bad!  It was certainly challenging, but doable, so that's great!  I took some measurements this morning to compare against at the end of the month..
5.9.12- morning after first shred
144.8
Waist: 30
Hips: 40
Rt thigh: 23.5
Rt bicep relaxed: 11
Bust (with regular, lightly padded bra). 37.5

And I don't know what has changed about my body in the last week, but I'm suddenly no longer disgusted with how I look.  I certainly still see the extra pounds, but I no longer see a fat, or even chubby, woman looking back at me in the mirror.  My waist is defined, the lumps are mostly gone, my arms are thinner, and best of all, my face has lost its puffiness!
I feel really good about my progress, because that even includes taking about 6 weeks off for the whole pregnancy fiasco.  I only had one week where I truly went off the South Beach lifestyle, and that was the week that I was wallowing in self pity after my D&E.  I think that we have managed to really change out lifestyle and eating habits!  And THAT, is the key to keeping this off I think!

Silver linings are a funny thing...

So, 13dpo and its a BFN.  ugh.  I had SUCH a good feeling about this cycle too.  But, I bit the bullet yesterday and called my RE, I have an appt with him on Friday to talk about next steps.  Guessing that I will do one more month on clomid while waiting to be able to cycle with him.  I have some really generous friends that have offered me some injectible meds that they had left over, so I'm guessing that is what we will do!!  I need to find out how $$ IUI is and decide if we want to throw that into the mix too?  or just try for better egg quality and a good lining?  (I definitely want to add a trigger though...)

The silver lining to all of this?  I AM NO LONGER OVERWEIGHT!!!!  I finally broke my plateau and this morning I weighed in at 144.8, giving me a BMI of 24.9 which is NORMAL!!  YAHOO!!  I'm sure it will bounce back up a little bit in the next week or so, because that was a big drop, but I have one other thing to comfort me...  After having my pants literally falling off of me yesterday at work, I went shopping for some new pants last night. 

The ones I wore to work yesterday were size 12s that used to be tight...
So I took 10's and 8's into the fitting room.  Tried on the 8's first, they fit GREAT!!!  I was so excited that I was in single digits!  And then, I looked at them and realized that they would be too big in a few more pounds lost, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and try on some 6's.  Um...they effin fit!!  They were pulling a bit at the crotch, but they fit with no sucking in and minimal muffin toppage!  Sadly, the store was oddly short on 6's in anything but black, and I already have a pair of black pants that fit ok now, so..I ended up finding a pair of 8 petite pants that fit great and got those!

so..to recap, I wore size 12 pants to work yesterday when I can really wear a six if I want to have on hoochie mama pants!  HA!  

Progesterone is the devil!

The side effects are killing me!  I have all of the pregnancy symptoms right now and I'm not remotely far enough along into the 2WW for it to be remotely for a real reason..ugh!  alternating between nausea and STARVING, exhausted, my boobs are killing me, and the other day, I cried over an episode of Doc McStuffins... ugh. 

Weight is doing ok...hovering at 146.2 for a few days...hoping to get to that magic "normal" bmi number this week!!

My get up and go has got up and went...

(and I hanker for a hunk of cheese!)  I'm not sure why this popped into my head this morning...but do YOU remember these? HA!

So..having a tough time getting myself motivated at night to exercise, so to compensate, I've been extra good with my diet.  And today it paid off!  I weighed in at 146.9!  only 1.6 pounds from a normal BMI!!  I'm fully expecting that number to go back up some tomorrow, but it was still really fun to see :) 

I was thinking yesterday about how my favorite thing that we are doing right this time is that DH and I are in this together!!  Its so nice to have someone that eats what you do, weighs in when you do, is as obsessed as you are...its really helpful for keeping on track! 

W2D3 - Again

I did it! I finally got my butt off the couch and resumed C25K!  I just picked up where I left off, repeating the last day I had done.  And it was tough!  But, when I got home, I realized that I had my fastest time to date, so I think I was pushing harder than before.  I was pretty sore this morning, but it seems to be loosening up through out the day.  

And, while this is good progress, I can't help but feel a bit embarrassed that I'm so sore, tired and out of breath from the little bit of running that it actually entails so far...I constantly feel like I'm taking the easy way out by doing this and not just diving into running as long as I can possibly go.